You Must Go

     I stand alone. Ashamed. My shoulders are sagging under the weight of my guilt. With my head bowed, I pray to God, “Lord, I want to believe that You can forgive me for all I've done. For the countless times that I have failed You. I want to believe that You love me.” I stop, draw in a shaky breath, and continue. “But I can't see how. How can You love me when I've been so selfish? You are the One who made me, and I have turned my back on You and spit in Your face over and over again.” My heart is aching and tears form in my eyes.

     “Daughter.”

     I look up, and to my astonishment, He is standing in front of me. He reaches out and takes my face in His scarred hands, His eyes looking into mine. He opens His mouth to speak and I stop breathing.

     “When I made you, I knew exactly what it would cost me to one day save you. You are worth everything to me. I know you better than you know yourself. I made you, and you are good. You are forgiven, because I willingly paid the price for all your wrongs.”

     His words penetrate my heart. I close my eyes, and tears pour down my face onto His hands. The hands that were pierced for me.

     “Look at Me,” He says gently, and I open my eyes. “It is time to stop doubting My love. I will never leave you. I love you.” He takes me into His arms as I weep openly.

     I'm unaware of how much time passes. I just know that I'm with Him, and He's with me, and my heart is healing in His presence. His love is like breath and light and life. I tell Him that I love Him too. Eventually, He pulls back and looks deeply into my eyes again. “I want to stay with You forever,” I whisper.

     His soft response is, “You must go.”

     “Go?” I ask, confused.

     “There are many broken souls in this world. People who need to know that I love them. I want you to be my messenger. Will you do this for me?”

     “Yes, of course,” I say breathlessly, “But...I don't want to leave You.”

     He smiles, and it makes my heart overflow with joy. “I will not leave you,” He reassures. “I will go with you every step of the way. I will show you what to say and what to do when the time comes. Do not fear, for My Spirit is with you always. And there are others who know My love, those that I have called to do the same. You will go together and strengthen one another as you tell the world of My love.” With these words, He departs.

     Now I am standing alone again, but not really. I know now that I am never alone and always loved. I look up to Heaven and say, “I will go, Lord. I want them to know this great love.” I step outside and begin my journey.