What's Inside Me

The demons come

To haunt me once again.

I had thought them conquered,

But they live to torment me still.

Lust sidles up to me;

Slithers through my brain.

My sinful desires feel so good,

Then abandon me to shame.

Prideful thoughts float

In my head, passing judgement where 

I am not qualified to give it.

My selfish love matches my self loathing.

Whispers of hate

Run through my mind;

Terrible, wicked hatred

For the hearts of many;

Hatred for my own

Boils in my blood.

I am a twisted, sickening wretch

Deserving of death.

But death would be merciful,

And mercy I deserve not.

And so the demons come

Alive to deliver my dues.

I have fought them for so long.

In my heart, the battle rages;

A war no one sees.

I am weak; they overtake me.

Like an acid, 

It's eating me away.

I know why it is

That I never escape.

The demons are a part

Of me, an evil

Born of my own heart.

I am the worst monster of all.

Pain tears at my soul.

I detest myself,

And despise my life.

How can I be loved?

Yet I am loved.

I am forgiven.

One stronger than I

Chases away my demons.

He weeps with me in my agony;

Tells me what I am meant to be.

He strengthens, and heals my wounds.

He sings a song of love to me.

(I am amazed

At that sweet sound,

So undeserved by

A wretch like me).

He makes my heart new,

Though the old lingers.

The demons will return,

But in His strength I will fight.

On the day when He remakes all things,

I also will be redeemed.

Evil and death will forever die,

And in His arms I will live, forever free.