Doubt, Selfishness, & God

     God.  Yahweh.  Jehovah.  Christ.  His name strikes awe into the hearts of those who know Him; the salvation He has granted us is what we trust in for eternity; His teachings are what we strive to follow every day of our lives.  And yet we doubt Him.  If you're anything like Jesus' first disciples, you might protest at that.  

Peter said to Him, “Even if I have to die with You, I will not deny You!”  And so said all the disciples.

 Then all the disciples forsook Him and fled. (Matthew 26:35, 56b)

I believe the disciples meant it when they said they wouldn't deny their Lord.  But when their words were put to the test, their human fear overtook them.  As Jesus Himself said, The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak. (Matthew 26:41)  I never want to doubt my Lord and Savior, but I do.  Somehow, He loves me anyway.

     What I want to address with this blog entry is one of those doubts that haunted me, and the way that God so lovingly showed me the truth on the matter.

     Why Are You So Selfish?

     Have you ever been around someone that had such an overwhelming "It's All About Me" attitude that it drove you crazy?  I think we all have, and if we're honest, we've also been that person at some point.  Or a lot of points.  Well, eventually I felt compelled to address this person on their attitude, finally asking "Why are you so selfish?"  I didn't like asking that question, I didn't relish the way it would make the other person feel, and I couldn't really imagine any good answer to it.  Did I mention that the person was God?

     Yes, I asked God why He was selfish.  Or, more accurately, why it was okay for Him to be so selfish.

     Even as I did, I understood the audacity of the question.  In essence, it accuses God of imperfection (at least the way it was framed in my mind), and His perfection, His holiness is the foundation of absolutely everything I believe as a Christian.  I believe that Jesus has the nature of God (holiness), and therefore lived a perfect life.  When He took the punishment for the world's sin, it was completely undeserved, which was what allowed Him to suffer in my place, and in yours.  Because of that, I don't have to suffer punishment, and am forgiven.  If the nature of God wasn't completely perfect, then Jesus was capable of sin, and in that case He must have.  This makes His death, and my salvation, moot.

     Also, if God's not perfect, the Word of God must be imperfect.  Even if an imperfect God could manage to say only that which was true, the Bible states repeatedly that He is perfect and holy, from Leviticus 11:44 to Psalm 18:30 to Matthew 5:48 to Revelation 15:4.  So if God was imperfect, then the Bible wasn't 100% Truth, and if it wasn't 100% Truth, who could know what was and what wasn't true in it?

     Suffice it to say, this question, and it's implications, troubled me.

  

     Why would I ask such a question in the first place?

     It just seemed to me that God had that "All About Me" attitude.  

You shall have no other gods before Me. (Exodus 20:3)

This do, as often as you drink it, in remembrance of Me. (1 Corinthians 11:25b)

For it is written: “ As I live, says the LORD, Every knee shall bow to Me, (Romans 14:11a)

“I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End,” says the Lord, “who is and who was and who is to come, the Almighty.” (Revelation 1:8)

     I'd been taught all my life that selfishness and pride were sin.  Satan was kicked out of Heaven because of them.  When we practice them, bad things happen.  

Before destruction the heart of a man is haughty, And before honor is humility. (Proverbs 18:12)

Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. (Philippians 2:3)

And yet, here God is saying all these things that seem pretty prideful and selfish.

     I was very perplexed about this.  So I asked God, "Why is it okay for you to be prideful and selfish, but not for us?"

     I did know that God was God.  He had plenty of reason for a big ego.  But wasn't a sin a sin, no matter who practiced it?

     The Moment Of Truth

     I don't remember the exact moment when God answered this question for me, but He did, and everything became clear.  

     This is what I realized: God is good.  He said so in His Word, after all.  I can believe it because I've experienced it.  I have praised Him in those moments where I was looking right at Him in spirit and soul, because in those moments I could see just how beautiful and awesome He is.  God is so good that anything even remotely good pales in comparison next to Him.  As Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 1:25, Because the foolishness of God is wiser than men, and the weakness of God is stronger than men.  That's just how indescribable God is.  

     But how could God be a good God if He did not promote that which is good?  Think about that for a second.  A good God would, and does, exalt that which is good.  Since God is the greatest good, that means exalting Himself, and He is absolutely within His rights to do it.  If God wasn't 'selfish' or 'prideful,' that would make Him imperfect, rather than the other way around.  

     We've all got to be about something, and God was there before there was anything other than Himself.  He is the Creator, the Almighty, the only infinite, the greatest lover, the Most Holy, the true just Judge, full of mercy and grace, infinitely wise.  He is good!
     Also, God completely unselfishly gave His Son for our benefit.  Christ unselfishly sacrificed His life for our salvation.

     So, to answer my question, "Why is it okay for God to be prideful and 'selfish,' and not for us human beings?"  Because a good God has to be about good, and because we humans are not good.  We really aren't.  

for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, (Romans 3:23)  We are inherently evil creatures, and at our core we desire to please ourselves and care little for others.  There are other Scriptures that say as much, and if I'm any example, it's true.  I know that my heart is desperately wicked, and without Jesus, I have no way to do anything about it.  If we are selfish, we do not promote good, but only our own agendas, which often do little to benefit good, God, or others.

     The Lord simply opened my eyes to these simple truths, and my faith was restored.

     So what?

     I write of this that you may know the truth about God and selfishness, as it was revealed to me, and that you may be encouraged to know that for each one of our questions, God has an answer.  For each of our doubts, there is Truth to displace it.  For each of our faults, there is forgiveness.  

     All glory to our God, for He is good!

All Scripture taken from the New King James Version of the Holy Bible.